Man Know Thyself | gnosticwill's Blog

Earlier this week I had some terrible news about an ex-workmate, a 15 you old boy who was an apprentice with a friend of mine. I had worked with him a few times earlier this year, and liked him a lot. I felt a little protective of him, as he seemed quite innocent despite having had a hard life, and I thought that one day he would be a good man, when he matures.

If my intuition was working, I was not paying any attention. The poor boy was caught interfering with his 4 year old sister, apparently this had been going on for some time, the sister is an identical twin and there is a brother who is 9. All of them have been interfered with. 

When I heard this I felt sick and had to stop what I was doing and really concentrate just to keep listening to the conversation. While I was gathering myself the boys on my worksite had started joking – this made me feel even worse… (I have a lot of thinking to do about the nature of humour). 

I could not stop thinking about it and wondered how a 15 year old boy could learn such behaviour? And how he came to be in such an horrific state? And what must have been done to him? 

I started to think about how we all have the same potential, and wondered if given the same circumstances I imagine this poor boy has suffered, could I or anyone else have ended up the same, even at such an early age? 

In trying to understand how he came to such a place I thought about how I was at 15 years of age, hating the world with a big chip on my shoulder, fighting against everything and blaming my family and my upbringing. Having no concept of personal responsibility or how my actions affect the people around me. 

It seems too easy to simply judge him and dismiss him as evil, as different from me, as different from normal people…  

It reminded me of something I read in the “The Flight of the Feathered Serpent” something that Jesus said to the Disciples “do not judge, so that you are not judged, because with the same judgement you will be judged. All that is given to you to see outside is only a reflection of what lies in your heart, the world and men are what you are”.

So I started to look within, to make efforts to understand what lies in my heart. One of the first things I saw is that I continually judge others – the closer the person the more harsh the judgement. In this way I have been doing myself so much harm on a lot of different levels. I noticed how I feed a lot of negativity and pride. I noticed that the pride stops me from hearing what other people say so I devalue their words and cut myself off from so much that could help me. The belief that I know more, am smarter have studied harder – it’s so empty and limits the whole of my life.  

How lucky I am to have come across Gnosis to have learned about self observation - to have the tools that give back the responsibility for how I think, feel and act. 

Even though this is not really about me, I have learned something valuable … now comes the hard part -facing with courage the truth of what is within and making the necessary changes. What a shame I had to discover something so terrible in a work mate to see something so harmful in myself…